Tim “Noodles” Moore has finally blown the lid off his 15 year Asian plan and announced the formation of an Australia Network Alliance.
The organization seeks to schedule Sunday sessions around televised sporting fixtures at the homes of paid up Tigers’ members who broadcast the Australia Network.
Aiming to blackball anyone who doesn’t like beer, footy, barbeques and cricket The Australia Network Alliance is reported to have a hidden patriarchal agenda wherein Noodles will autonomously govern the organisation and maintain his Don Meung residence as its chief headquarters.
Moore though also proposes to handpick additional locations around Bangkok and has hinted that he would like some of these to have pool access – certainly good news for Tiger’s captain Speedo Patterson who is known to like an afternoon frolic in his Davids.
Initially there were to be ten operational residences serving the alliance but after some debate this number was reduced to five out of respect for Moore’s long time friend - affectionately known as ‘God’. Legend holds that “God” once played cricket for Hawthorn who unwisely mistook his unmanageable lust for taking huge bags of wickets as a sign of delinquency and banished him to the penal settlement of Geelong - where he was never seen or heard from again. Tim Moore is one of the lucky few to have escaped the brutality of this derelict wasteland and maintains that “God” is actually alive and well and can be found on Sundays at church.
Either way it’s hoped that through the alliance we can all come to remember God and that he might occupy a little bit of a place in us all.
And with an explosive summer of controversial Sri Lankan bowling actions to look forward to the Alliance is set to really cash in.
It’s 2000 baht to join and this entitles you to all the beer and sausages you can manage for as many sessions as the treasury can manage it. There will be kegs, this is given. You can pass on your money to Saul or Noodles.
May the Alliance be pleased. God speed.