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The Truth About Camp Wagga:
8th June 2007

Once a week a few good men make their way to Benjakiri Park, by the Queen Sirikit Convention Centre. These men claim to be fit. Once a week a man they know only as “Wagga” puts that to the test.


Some of the Tiger’s best have been pushed to the limits of their physical abilities by Wagga, a hard nosed, irate dictator masquerading as a personal trainer who occasionally sits at a desk in an office.

“Oi, we’re not done!”, “No water, no god damn water!,” “Well done, that was a personal best now let’s do it again!” “What did you have for lunch? You’re kidding me, drop and give me 100 hindu push ups. DO IT! Hindu push ups you girl, get your arse up. Push harder you are making me sick.”

A solemn first timer, after heaving and lurching through one of Waggas 63 dynamic warm ups, ambitiously proclaimed a “Great session!” after just 15 minutes in and made a deft move for the exits. As a matter of course Wagga’s die hard disciples were quick to inform this fresh face that if you start Camp Wagga you finish Camp Wagga, there are no second places.

No second places indeed. Wagga’s disciples were in good position to block the 98 kg Tom Lockett and young Tom, knowing his place, retreated back into Wagga’s cauldron of sweat and pain.

“Don’t push too hard boys, do as many as you can. I’ll do 100, Mango you do 99, everyone else go for 20.”

“Tom Lockett you sit this one out and have a breather, get ready for the next round and make sure you do it properly.” Undeterred, Tom announced his readiness, “I’ll see how many I can do!’

It didn’t matter how many Tom Lockett did this night, he was just inspired by the sight of these sweaty, driven men, gasping for air and breaking their backs for their dream of hoisting the Asian cup. Tom Lockett will be back next week. Tom Lockett wants the Asian cup.

An unusually light looking Stephen “Rowdy” Richards cast a gaze in Tom Locketts direction. Tom Lockett, he thinks, will be a star

Rowdy smiles. Mango stirred, he had a thirst.

After having his followers scale a set of stairs comparable to any BTS station between Siam and Saphan Kwai in the most difficult ways possible, Wagga declared the session closed. That’s the hour he said, “Let’s go!”

You might expect that Tom Lockett breathed a sigh of relief, but you would be mistaken. Tom Lockett is a changed man. Tom Lockett is a believer. As you read this Tom Lockett is emptying his fridge of processed foods, empty pizza boxes and fanta. The 24 year old key position player is now knows what it takes to conquer Asia.

On being approached Wagga only had this to say: “I jogged laps once, it was boring!” Asked if his methods were a little unorthodox he retorted “Look at these blokes, see how good they look!”

In July Wagga’s camp will be put to the test.

Wagga can be contacted by email.

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