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Chris Thwaites
On the ball
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Thailand Tigers Golf Day:
9 May 2007

You gotta love footy and I love my dogs too. They lick me in nice places and make me feel special.

Noodles struts his stuff

But you also gotta love golf, but me dogs don't much care for golf, but they like their own balls.

The tigers played golf last weekend instead of footy. I wasn't there, but Dog was, not my dogs, but the other Dog. He loves his own balls too

It was bloody hot at golf. Not sure why, maybe because of the weather or something.

Nine people set off to play golf at Chuan Chuen which is somewhere on the other side of the river, depending on what side of the river you are on to begin with.

Dog gave the golfers some toys to play with on the way around. A toy for whoever hit it in the water, and a toy for whoever hit it in the sand and a toy for whoever had three putts. Sounds complicated to me. The caddies liked the toys. They squeaked whenever you squeeze them. The toys I mean, not the caddies.

Everybody played well at golf and not a maggot or mango to be seen anywhere, so everybody thought that was great. Patto hit a Cathy Freeman - it went fast but it was ugly. Ralph did a Lady Diana - wish he hadn't taken his driver. Hamish did a Marilyn Monroe - a fair crack up the middle. Robbo thought the 18th hole was a Ladyboy - looked like an easy hole but all might not be what it seems. CJ thought every putt was a Rock Hudson - thought it was straight but it wasn't. Skirts was a gynaecologist's assistant - he just kept shaving the hole all day.

At the end of the day, Gary from cricket who sells turf to golf courses hit the best score of a 76 and took home the trophy. Mr Lee didn't win anything and it doesn't seem Dog did a good job teaching him English. Somebody got the prize for landing it on the green and being closest to the hole, but I can't remember who it was. Must be my old age, or maybe I just have a shit memory.

What a great day.

Dog says he had so much fun organising this golf day, he is going to do it again some time soon.

Gotta go now, as me dogs are eating the rubbish, and I never like them to do that until after they have licked me.


Noodles Reports 2008
More From Noodles 2007
9 May
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