Having meritoriously hauled themselves from the rips and acid drops that make up the Indonesian coastline the Bali Geckos as they are known will be imposing their bloodied, battered, reef wrenched bodies on the ANZAC day clash to be staged alongside the infamous river Kwai.
According to an inside source the Gecko’s have pulled up “aching” after some physically intense sessions at their local yard sales where Barneys and kooks don’t cut it and no Singaporean has permission to enter the water.
Alarmingly, late in the Gecko’s last hit out before Saturday’s crunch game the midfield, after getting stoked in the green room were all hit by a heavy cleanup set that rocked the group so much that they called the session dunzo, cut out, packed up and went home. The group is said to be undeterred by the incident although a few of the boys have since reported bad cases of sinus drain.
Without warning the Geckos were forced to turn and burn on a quick set lest they forget the last time they ate a rail sandwich, unsuspectingly got ramped on by a grom or barreled into by a whimpski. Less knowledgable beach goers think the latter is great to watch but seasoned surfers know better and prefer to see whimpskis get rag dolled as punishment for going swishy on the shoulder. Such a sight they reckon is totally wik and separates kooks from radolescents.
Word is though the approaching waves were not unlike Bali’s come from behind win against the Jakarta Bintangs, only on this occasion the Bintangs were coming for them! Incidentally little fun was had on these belated waves and the Geckos simply washed up on the beach, a little worse for wear to the delight of a few showbags who had taken a break from the bar to stock up on brand name boardies. Perhaps it was a sign of things to come for the Geckos, a warning perhaps to watch their backs as Kevin Sheedy the Tigers have been flying under the radar for some time now and maybe about to purr.
So in the next few days we’ll see the Geckos, still recovering from their grueling training regime yet glorious in their tans, sun bleached locks and casually confident but unsanctioned surfing footwear (flip flops). Most experts are tipping a tough close match, culminating in a runaway 96 point victory to the Thaigers. This is what Australian surfing superstar Mick Fanning had to say: “It's a pretty bizarre scene here with a freeway built right over the sand. I spun out looking back in from the line-up. The Japanese people are really cool too. They run around all day snapping off photos. They love surfing and they love us coming here.” There you have it, Bali will go jivel! Fanning expects the Thaigers to light it up and bring the glass axe down on the Geckos, Heffs, Kooks and Barneys – the whole bloody lot.
One Thaiger gun, however, will be noticeably absent on Saturday. Current club president Ryan “Rhino” Collett has by all reports (after being in contact with the Geckos) been so taken by the fetching surfing lifestyle that hehas elected to mark this weekend with a surf of his own. Considering the river Kwai is devoid of surf this means that Collett will be nowhere to be seen when Allan “Yoda” Sutherland works out which players are actually available and our AFL accredited umpires can finally throw the ball up. In addition it has been leaked that Greg “Grizzly” Mellor, arguably the Thailand Tiger’s greatest ever individual talent, has been so misled by our delinquent new president that he too may be a no-show in the Tiger’s hour of reckoning.
On a lighter note, after originally planning to commemorate their trip by donating a tub of surf wax to the greater community of Kanchanaburi the Bali side has, after learning of Noodles passion for the lifestyle, decided to donate that tub to Noodles instead. Apparently, the Geckos in between gnarl’ sets stumbled across Noodles weekly surf tips and were very impressed. It was said that Noodles was “Jammin!” and could, his missus permitting, “…come and study the local breaks.” As a sign of his appreciation Noodles is said to be looking forward to enlightening his new bros on just how huge Bells Beach was when no-one else but Noodles could paddle out and how Noodles was ripping it when nobody else but Noodles was around.
Yo bro, time to chuck!